just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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