On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
