The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
