my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
