i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
