I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
