sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize