I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
