The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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