fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
