I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
