her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
