got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
