i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
