Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
