is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
