I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize