Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
