The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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