he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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