Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
