Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
