He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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