I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize