lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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