He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
