Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her

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(862): View more from New Jersey

dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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(949): View more from California

My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

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(214): View more from Texas

Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us

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(912): View more from Georgia

I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

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(805): View more from California

She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.

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(540): View more from Virginia

how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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(330): View more from Ohio

you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.

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