So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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