That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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