you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
