doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
