Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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