She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
