I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
