I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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