I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
its liver damage thursday
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
