I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
