so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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