You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize