She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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