Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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