these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
