just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
