were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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