He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
