Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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