Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize