we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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