Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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