Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
