I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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