we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
