If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
