were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
