Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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