i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
