just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
