So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
