That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
