Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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