I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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