I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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