Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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