One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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