I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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