Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
