he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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