What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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