And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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