Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
