I have demons in me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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