why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
