Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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